One can make beautiful drawings with patience and colored pencils.
I need to make art like a caged bird needs to sing. (Look up Maya Angelou.) It is my calling, my life blood.
This is not for the faint of heart.
Many artists, of all kinds, struggled with mental health challenges. Famous examples include Vincent van Gogh, Edvard Munch, Beethoven, Georgia O’Keeffe, Sylvia Plath, Kurt Cobain, etc. Something about being creatively gifted brings the curse of madness with it.
I am no different.
My life has never been easy, as much as I’d love to tell a happy story. I’ve overcome abuse, abandonment, betrayal, along with much else which I don’t often speak about. Such experiences bred “demons” with names like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and suicide. Those monsters have left many scars, metaphorical or otherwise.
Art was the light at the end of the tunnel. I was creatively gifted so, as I once sat there, listening to some wise inner calling, contemplating whether a 4th suicide attempt or a great life change would be most challenging, I came to a compromise. If I do not waste my life, then neither can I waste my gifts.
Why would I be given a gift if I was not meant to use it?
This was why I was sick, unfulfilled, and on the edge of death. I was not on the right path. God, in whichever form you may choose, put me on this planet for a reason. It does not include a normal lifestyle or a 9 to 5 job that erodes my mental health, killing my spirit. Money is not so important as completing my life’s mission and staying healthy.
Art keeps me sane. It gives me strength. It makes me feel I have something valuable to offer this world. That is why I do it.
If you would like to help support this struggling artist on a mission, I’ve created a GoFundMe page for those who may not be able to afford my art yet wish to support my journey:
So I have a confession: I haven’t been painting very long. Most of my experience is in drawing with graphite and colored pencil. I’ve been painting for maybe a year and a half and I’ve taken a couple painting classes. What this means, ultimately, is that it still takes me a long time to finish a piece because I don’t always know what I’m doing.
And that’s ok. It all comes with time. I’m already good for my current level of experience, with time it will turn into great.
Anyway, let’s start with one of my first pieces. When I say “first”, I mean paintings I’ve started since I moved my studio about a year ago.
I’m calling this one “The Closet”. I’ll let you figure out the rest.
This is the 2nd painting I started since getting serious about painting. It still needs work, more detail on the moon… Honestly, I’m trying to adopt a “just get it done” mentality to combat my perfectionism. Perhaps it’s not my greatest painting, but it’s still good, and since I’ve been working on it so long, I just want to get it finished. As I said in my last post, oil paintings take a long time to dry. After this layer dries, I just need a few more details.
This is actually a friend of mine. We used to work together in a dispensary.
This painting? I keep wanting to call it finished… The only thing it still needs is perhaps some detail on the weed plants. The most challenging thing for me right now is smooth lines. It’s getting the right combination of pigment and linseed oil in order to form something solid. If anything, I might want to add a few details but it is pretty much done.
This is a lot more vibrant than most of my work, which shows how happy I was painting for an audience.
This is a painting I started at the Ganja Goddess Convention. It has a long way to go. The flowers are based from real life rather than a photo, but of course I just started them. I used acrylic paint for the first and second layer, now I’m using oil on top.
When you start learning the human figure, you draw people nude. I continued to draw women as I questioned my sexuality and strived to be thin.
This is the 1st painting I started since my new studio, so I’m definitely ready to call it done! I added more color to the hair because something felt lacking. I lightened up the background… I’m deciding whether I’m satisfied with it, I think I might be. As I said, I need to have the mentality of just getting it done… That one breast is larger than the other, I’ve noticed, but that’s realistic, honestly. Nobody’s body is perfectly symmetrical.
I keep changing the background, I’m actually starting to like it. The left boob has issues.
This one has a ways to go… It’s drawn and painted from real life. The reason it isn’t as realistic as, say, my Buddha painting, which I should probably also show you… Is that I started drawing it in one lighting, but then I’m using slightly different lighting to paint it, as well as a different mirror. Therefore, it’s not gonna be super realistic, a lot of it has to come from my head. That means it’s gonna be more cartoon-y. That’s ok though! Lesson learned, and I get practice with improvising.
Bigger means easier.
This is my newest painting. It is so much easier to get in detail and it pops out so much more when you work bigger, so I want to do that as much as I can now. Maybe it’s easier but it also allows for expansion. I’ve realized my favorite artists do such amazing work because they work big!
Anyway, I had to adjust the nose, I realized the proportions were a little off… I’m debating whether to keep those large circles under my eyes because it certainly says something about me… I know it looks good, but it’s gonna look even better once I get all the detail in there. It needs to dry though first before the next layer… I’m still not sure what to put in the background.
I’d like to start posting these blog posts earlier in the day for a wider audience, but, you know. I’m a night owl so for now this works… Anyway, thanks for reading… I’ll just show you the Buddha painting tomorrow… The next couple of days will be art days, too, so you’ll be seeing more soon!
Harley Makes Art 